This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.